A Season — and Cycle — of Hope

Rector Kathy Giles welcomes students to Winter Term with encouragement to seek light and hope this season.

Good morning and welcome back!

It’s a busy time, these coming 18 days of December before our next break: It’s a new term, new season, new start, the coming of a new weather season — winter, with its own special beauties; the coming, in a few short weeks, of a new year.

And it is so busy. We’re thinking right now about how we did on exams and final projects, how our early college applications will turn out, how our classes will go, how the scrimmages and games and matches will go, how our upcoming performances in ballet and choir and music will be — and how the world will go, as we approach a significant transition in American leadership. It is so busy, and we are on that fast track toward our goals so that everything passes in a blur, particularly as we scroll and scan and rush from one thing to the next. Yes, we are active actors and taking action, and at the same time, we are reacting so much of our time: striving, keeping pace with the everydayness of busy, productive lives and schedules, seeking answers on the way to the next thing. We are so busy.

Is there ever the silence, in our busy days, in which another voice may speak?

In the everydayness of our lives here, we are indeed becoming what we will be, as Rev. Wynder often reminds us — not just the person of these grades or those credentials, but the person, the self, of character, spirit, and heart. At this time of year, we remind ourselves that humanity throughout the ages has intentionally made this season the time of celebrating light in the darkness; light and hope. We celebrate the Christian season of Advent — a season of anticipation, of hope, peace, love and joy; Hanukah, the miracle of light, of rededication, of family and celebration; Kwanzaa, the celebration of unity, purpose, family and community – all celebrated by lighting candles, reflecting on what we believe and what we hope we can be and become, and sharing good wishes, good will and joy; the bringing of light and hope to others at a time of darkness. Here at SPS, yes, this time coincides with a time for us to get back exam results, hear from college applications — and intentionally choose to work toward that for which we hope, with optimism, with confidence, leaning on faith, hope, and love as we give and receive. All of this celebration is a choice, an intentional choice. It’s not a fleeting emotional reaction, it’s not checking the box, it’s not just about saying the words. It’s a choice about what we value, about being and becoming; it’s a practice and a choice — in the everydayness of life, a choice to look toward the good with ambition, aspiration, optimism, belief and hope … hope that we can indeed be and become better as we strive toward good, toward serving the greater good.

I always appreciate the thinking and work that goes into our newspaper, The Pelican, and the edition that came out as we left for break was a great read, as usual. (Nice cover photo as well!) The cell phone policy article caught my eye and made me think. While asking everyone to be “cell-phone free from 8-3” has reducing stress as one hoped-for outcome, it’s not the principal goal. The principal goal, in my opinion, is to restore the space in our minds and spirits for choice, for thought, for reflection, and for creativity. That space only happens when we get out of the “mindless cycle” problem: when, for whatever reason, we allow our minds and consciousness to fill up with other peoples’ ideas, images and sounds to which we react instinctively, mindlessly, constantly, and which crowd out the space we need for ourselves — to be and become ourselves.

Screens and machines can do a lot for us, but they [also] take this space from us. Sometimes we don’t need or want to think. Sometimes it is time for music or video or a game to provide a different kind of stimulation or rest. But that can’t be all the time, or we just become whatever those creators make of us, rather than becoming ourselves. That’s where the decline in mental health comes in, because without choice and balance, you just become a consumer and product of other people’s opinions and algorithms. While it is tempting to analogize hours spent online to eating junk food, it’s more like just eating all the time, eating anything that anyone puts in front of you, eating without hunger or enjoyment, caught in the mindless cycle of eating just to be eating. Imagine what it would be like to eat whatever you find, in the ways you engage with whatever you find online, and for hours on end. Nothing good there — and eventually, if you never stop eating, you lose your taste, your shape and your health. Food is great; eating is important; but it is in service to your health and requires balance, moderation and choice. Our cell phone policy helps us work on the choice muscle, the intentionality muscle, the respond-instead-of-react muscle. Because what’s on your screen should never become a substitute for who you are — and what you will be, you are indeed now becoming.

This is the season for light and hope.

We can learn hope. As Dr. Brene Brown advises, in her book called “The Gifts of Imperfection”: Set realistic goals; approach them in a practical way; and believe in yourself and in your capacity to achieve them.

And we can practice hope.

Daily gratitude: Nothing creates optimism and hope as fast as gratitude for what you already have. At the end of the day, think about three things that went well or that you enjoyed, and then write down what you contributed: I got a great compliment from a teacher on my exam; I worked hard, even though I was tired …

Flexibility and resilience: Choose to feel optimistic and powerful. Identify a need, then identify five different ways to meet it.

One minute challenge: This one comes from psychologist Carol Dweck in her book “Mindset.” Devote one minute a day to learning something new — it keeps you growing and seeing yourself succeed, making you confident that working toward that for which you hope is the right path.

Gifts I wish for you during this holiday season?

A HOPE habit: Help One Person Everyday.

An “aha” moment: When you make space in your brain and spirit to muse and wonder, or when you are thinking about something else or doing something with space for your mind/spirit/heart to work, and clarity comes to you.

A connection moment: When you have that moment of understanding that connects you with someone or connects ideas in a way that makes you feel strong, that you know more, that you have expanded your capacity.

Some interstitial time: Time in between, a walk in the woods or even just on the bridges, when you choose not to be on your screens, when you choose to escape the mindless algorithmic cycle, to think for a moment about who you are being and becoming — those big, important questions, questions that defy final answers but instead define us and what we hope and give our lives purpose and meaning: Who am I? Why am I here? How should I live? What should I do?

I leave you with “Snowy Night,” my favorite poem by the poet Mary Oliver for this time of year. (And it will snow tomorrow night!)