A Kind and Thoughtful Teacher

SPS remembers Toby Brewster

BY JANA F. BROWN

Contemplating his retirement in 2021, longtime St. Paul’s School faculty member Toby Brewster shared with Alumni Horae the quality he valued most in himself.

“As a teacher,” he said at the time, “my goal was to listen more than I talked.”

Brewster, who died on March 16, 2023, will be remembered for his willingness to lend an ear as well as for his kind, considerate nature, his love of the outdoors, his sense of grace, and, most importantly, the deep affection he had for his family. He and his wife Becca, who spent nearly 20 years working in the School’s Advancement Office, raised their boys, Will ’11, Eli ’13, Peter ’17 and Seth, on SPS grounds. When they were young, the Brewster children were ever-present on the Nordic skiing and running trails of SPS, where their father coached so many athletes — including his own sons — with his thoughtful approach.

“He was a very involved parent, very present,” Becca Brewster says, recalling that her husband took the boys out to breakfast most Wednesdays, when there was no morning Chapel. “He was devoted, steady, patient. He was very proud of all the boys.”

During a fruitful career at SPS that began in 1994, Brewster taught Humanities and helped to develop the School’s interdisciplinary Fourth Form curriculum; served as a college adviser; and was a beloved coach and mentor. He thrived in the collaborative environment of the Humanities Department, and in the bonds he formed within the community of St. Paul’s. His style in the classroom reminded Becca Brewster of her husband’s calm approach to parenting, and the trust he placed in the growth of young people.

“He definitely saw himself as learning with the students,” Becca Brewster says.

Quentin Reeve ’03 describes his former coach as extraordinarily kind, someone who inspired and motivated his students and athletes, and embodied the idea of “leading from the front.”

“He never asked an athlete or student to do anything he wouldn’t do himself,” Reeve says. “His willingness to work just as hard as anyone else meant he was deeply respected and admired by all.”

In his understated way, Brewster made an impact on everyone he knew. Though he approached his work with the degree of professionalism it required, he also possessed a certain levity that put others at ease. In his life outside of his job, he was an avid runner, biker, swimmer and Nordic skier who was content in nature. He enjoyed sharing his quiet sense of adventure with his family in their travels, particularly to the coast of Maine. The family spent the 1999-2000 academic year in Rennes, France, with Brewster on the faculty of School Year Abroad, an opportunity for which he was forever grateful. He also experienced favorite destinations on a bicycle, including summer excursions through New Hampshire, Vermont and Ireland.

“He wasn’t a person who complained or was picky about anything,” Becca Brewster says, “but he’d make sure he planned his route so he could get a coffee frappe along the way.”

Throughout a period of declining physical health, Brewster maintained a quiet determination and unwavering inner strength — and never complained. He led a “full and fulfilling life,” his wife says. He enjoyed the quiet, reflective times, whether by himself, with family and friends, or with the family’s adored black lab, Bean, by his side. He loved being outside and, ever the learner, always had a book in his hand. It is not surprising that one of Brewster’s favorite classes to teach at SPS was called In Tune with Nature, a Humanities elective that allowed him to combine his interest in literature and writing with the natural world. Longtime SPS Science Teacher Rick Pacelli called the opportunity to create and co-teach the course with his friend “one of the joys of my career.” Most of all, Brewster led by example, approaching everything with grace, always with a smile, a word of encouragement and a positive outlook.

“He had the rare ability to bring out the best in people,” Pacelli says. “When speaking with Toby, I was always sure he was totally present. He embodied empathy and always was ready to help in the best way possible — gently, from the heart.”